In 2022, a student in Nebraska submitted the following essay to her high school English teacher:
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Edgar Allan Poe (1809-2007) was a U.S. American content creator of writing and adaptations who also made poetry, which is named after him and had a big impact on the development of the history of literature starting with the ancient Roma in Greece.
He was born in Boston and died in Baltimore but not of a gunshot wound or drugs. Some scholars say he died in The Wire.
In addition to creating content he liked opium.
SELECTED WORKS
The Tell-Tale Hart
Kevin Hart plays a storyteller named Kevin Hart who tells tales to police officers from underneath the floorboards of an old house.
I watched all the episodes and it was good, but sometimes it was hard to hear what he was saying.
Brad Pitt and the Pendulum
The famous actor learns to repair antique grandfather clocks and opens a grandfather clock repair shop in Toledo, Ohio. Each episode features a new clock, a new guest and plenty of tortured metaphors about life.
This one was OK in the beginning but got boring after a while.
The Imp of the Perverse
Peter Dinklage explores the underworld of sexual kinks.
I did not watch this one.
The Limp of the Perverse
Less successful spin-off of the previous. Peter Dinklage interviews people recovering from lower body injuries sustained while engaging in sexual kinks.
This one was creepy but not in a good way.
The Fall of the House of Usher
Mini-series about the R&B musician, his musical empire and his many failed relationships. In the fifth episode, Usher gets involved with a family member, which leads to his downfall. Also his house literally rots.
I watched this one while doing something else so I didn’t get a lot out of it.
The Raven-Symoné
Cult TV show filmed secretly at night on the actual set of The Cosby Show (circa 1989-1992) in which a man keeps trying to forget that he’s a monster but a cheeky bird unrelentingly brings him court transcripts from the future.
It was too meta.
The Murders in the Roo Morgue
Failed grimdark children’s animated series made in the wake of Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey about a grown-up, jaded Roo who owns a for-profit morgue and solves crimes committed by orangutans.
I couldn’t find this one anywhere so I didn’t watch it.
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When confronted by her teacher, the student claimed she hadn’t “made it all up” and insisted that she’d created a time machine, gone into the future and taken the information from Wikipedia.
She received a failing grade for having based her essay on a single source, plagiarized that source and failed to include it in her bibliography.
A few days later she was killed.
The English teacher was never seen again, but somebody keeps editing Edgar Allan Poe’s Wikipedia page, and the timestamps suggest the student may have been right.